Been thinkin' . . .

'Bout what? 'Bout what's important.

Don't know where it's coming from. Probably from missing the way Ben was, and because of all the clutter, or rather, things unused. I mentioned before that all this unused "stuff" is making me shake my head, wondering how to deal with it. It also creates videos in my imagination of how life COULD be. And "they" say the best thing you can do to reach reality is write it out. So here goes!

First, out with the clutter. Unclutter the living space and you unclutter the mind, or so "they" say. Does anyone know who this "they" is? And what gives them the power of being all-knowing anyway!

Lets continue on as I go through the movie of my recent life in all it's cinematic glory, figuring out the order of things . . .

Film strip. Duh!

The best place to start is picturing how one WANTS it to be, then I'll get to reality. (That sort of rhymed.)

There is a recurring thread, tying the knots together. It originates from a classic change in how life is seen through the eyes of a survivor. It's as if a curtain has been raised, and a whole other person shines through. Little things take on a sharper clarity. Other things, that once were important, no longer are. A song that formerly meant nothing, can now bring tears, or happiness. Or, even though someone seems to take you for granted, it doesn't matter. You still treat them in the manner you wish to be treated, hoping they'll maybe come around. What have you got to lose? If you begin to feel like a doormat, you're more aware than ever that you have options. You can talk it out, or move on and chalk it up to that thing called experience. You have the whole rest of your life ahead of you, and you know that you don't have to "settle". That's the most important thing: You. Don't. Have. To. "Settle".

So, knowing all that I do now, here's the "picture" of perfection, complete with options ~

• I share the remainder of my life with a person of a like mind. It's a relationship of convenience, respect, and comfort which can grow into genuine love. At this point, I don't know that I'm yet capable of the latter. If having a huge capacity for deep caring counts, then I'm there. But I'm much more aware now that time is too short to wonder if you're on the same page with someone.
• I rid myself of the aforementioned clutter, sell my home for a reasonable and fair price, and put the $ toward a good little cottage near a large body of water, in an area known for it's mild climate and no wall-to-wall people. I know, I'm a dreamer, but my cats concur with this one!
• I move somewhere closer to close family. The key word there is 'close', ie: fun and loving people. It's an "age" thing.
• I stay where I am and remind myself daily how lucky I am to be here.

All of them are a tall order. But given my circumstances and the gift of "landing on my feet" most of my life, I know that everything tends to work out in the end. But those "circumstances" are the reality. Yes, I'm a very healthy 64 year-old, of sound mind and body. But all of the above options take a decent income. I can't keep working forever, and Social Security goes only so far. That curtain that raised on a new human being also brings a certain sadness along with it, one that says "you can never go back", you've got what you've got, and your appreciation of what was is maybe a day late and several dollars short. But you make the best of it by realizing that everything will be okay if you keep your wits about you and keep practicing that Golden Rule by paying the good things forward.

No, I haven't made a list here of what's important, but it's all there if you're paying attention. And believe me, I'm paying a LOT of attention. My awareness can be likened to polishing the dark and tarnished surface of a valuable piece of silver. 

As my life continues on, it becomes more and more important that I'm all that I need to be. I sometimes revert, and there's no one but myself to pick me up and point me in the right direction. That is probably the most important thing . . . that I think things through and keep making the right decisions.

Your Attitude + Your Choices = Your Life

(You can help me do that by checking one of the 'reactions' below.)