I spend some of my semi-retirement time rummaging through that clutter in the dark corners of my mind that got me to where I am at this point in time. Nothing too deep mind you, just stuff that has the grand possibility of making a struggling soul shine like a star again. No better way to start than by popping a Dove dark chocolate into my "pie hole"! And, on the inside of the wrapper it says, "Discover how much your heart can hold".
Part of what brought this epistle on is the pseudo spring-like weather we have right now. Just a few days ago, it was in the 20-30's, favoring me with 7" of snow in my yard. Today it was 60, and I wanted to wear my flip flops. But seriously, it's odd how different kinds of weather have an effect on thought processes. I should be thinking about summer food, but instead, I have chili in the crockpot!
Back to the dark corners. I decided it was past the time when I should begin emptying my kitchen cabinets of things long forgotten, therefore unused. As I gazed upon the various bowls, pie plates, etc., I would remember where they came from .... mom, grandma, a friend .... and how much the food they held made us happy. But I had to be ruthless since it's only me now, and they weren't being used. Some may end up in a garage sale, and a neighbor took a few pieces. The things I've allowed to remain in place will hopefully stir up more memories as I put them to use. I may have a little Italian in my genes because there's nothing more gratifying than having people around your table enjoying your food. It recalls learning to make "Grandma Gravy", mom's whipped cream fruit salad, pan fried chicken finished off in the oven, rhubarb pie, and more. Spectacular stuff! At any rate, I'm not anywhere near finished with the kitchen. One thing leads to another.
Just a pretty picture to give you an intermission :)
I got my little Rolodex, and various pieces of paper that were stuck in it, and settled at the table. Many, many cards went to the round file, and any of the pieces of paper that held valuable contacts were ensconced on a Rolodex card and put in their place. More memories. Wonder what ever happened to this person, or that. I called one of them. "This is not a working number". So out she goes! Kind of like the stuff in the kitchen.
I'm a procrastinator, but I'm finally working my way through it. I actually can't wait to get into the storage room downstairs. It's the monster staring me down. Articles of clothing will elicit strong memories, plus reminders of my changing sizes. I know me .... I will NOT be able to toss some of them, whether they fit or not. Memories are a powerful thing. Maybe I can hire a friend to make a quilt out of some of them (Hi, Pat :)! And maybe not. Mixed in with the clothing, there are office supplies, parts and pieces of who knows what, boxes of framed photos and papers, and cans of now worthless paint. *Sigh* There are innumerable things down there, some that I may not even be aware of, but I'm tired of cringing when I walk into that room.
So, what is the whole point to this particular post? (Time for another Dove dark chocolate. This one says, "Share a sunset". In case you're wondering, these are valentine candies, which yes, I bought for myself!) The thoughts herein began with a message from a friend where she said, "People think I'm doing great". But as I, and those of you who have been through losses know, we're not always "doing great". That's an impossibility even without losses, but even more so for those of us missing an important part. I'm currently in one of those "Ahhhh" periods where I feel some peace, and where my mind is spurring me to make things better by really remembering the good times, and putting them to work again. If you know someone who seems like they're "doing great", never assume. Become a part of their will to live again. You'll only really "get it" when it's your turn.
Now then, back to my purging . . .
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