How much IS enough?

I can't believe I haven't blogged since March 9!! SO unlike me. I must not have been "with it"! But then, I was on some pretty fierce meds for about 3 weeks, so that could explain a lot of it. But how much of being alone IS enough? My round with bronchitis/sinus infection (not sure I even had the latter, but that's what the substitute doc said), was my first illness in a very, very long time, and I don't want it repeated any time soon! I spent the better part of the time alone, in my house, bored to death, but not really caring.

Prednisone has pretty much the same effect on every one, but I can't remember the last time I was on it, so silly me thinking "piece of cake". Everything, and I do mean everything, was magnified 15X ... my thoughts, my appetite ... all of it. Psychedelic scariness. I thought about things in greater depth than I normally do, which can lead to a depression of sorts. Being alone during all of this is not a good thing, but somewhat unavoidable if you're not in a mood to have a marriage of convenience that you can end when the illness is over. So I faithfully kept track of the medications I was prescribed (even though I later learned from my "real" doc that they probably did more damage than good in my case), and took them to the end. I asked my doctor to please not be gone the next time I get sick, and he told me not to get sick on a Monday again. I'll try to remember.

But back to the question ... how much IS enough ... of alone-ness. I did learn that there are people out there who are ready, willing and able to help me ... some who surprised me, some who disappointed. It's nice to know that you really never are alone. You just have to ask. But I think I've said it before, I'm not very good about doing that. My bad. As a person moves up in the age brackets, some tend to become more foolish by thinking they "don't want to burden people". Well hello ... some people WANT to be burdened! But the biggest stupidity is knowing that you're 67, mentally going on 32, and God forbid anyone should think you need help. After all, I have no problem sliding a 35 lb. kayak into my truck, then paddling it all over a lake. Whoopee! Do I remember when 50 lbs. was nothing? No.

So, I'm going to abandon my "Mrs. Tough Guy" routine and learn when to say, "yes please!". But that doesn't mean I'm giving up my hard-earned independence, so humor me.