Dibbles and Dabbles (Or just This 'n That)

This post could be interesting ... or not. It's somewhat prompted by dreams I've been having, which is nothing new. I've always been a big dreamer, awake and asleep. But it seems that my sleep dreams have come to make more sense in the respect that I can more clearly see the faces in them, and hear the conversations, and actually know what's going on. They're more structured than they've been in the past. A few have been very poignant, the kind I wish I could keep with me. Of course I realize that, although the dreams seem like a full feature, they're actually quite short, usually occurring just before I need to make one of those trips to the loo. I do not pretend to be a dream interpreter, nor do I wish to be. It's just nice seeing so many people that I haven't seen in many years, including those who are no longer of this earth. I forget the dreams several moments after I've awakened, yet the essence of them stays with me. Maybe I can blame all of this on any one of my supplements?! Or perhaps they make up for too much time alone.

But speaking of 'alone' ... it's not all bad. One gets to know oneself in ways one otherwise would not. Oh sure, I have down days when I wish I had someone to share my space with, but sharing it with my 'self' can be quite interesting. I don't talk to myself aloud, but I have conversations. I think we all do. Very normal. If I divide myself in two, one would be Kathleen, the other Kathy. Kathy seems to be the dominant one. (Now don't go thinking I'm schizoid!) All of these meanderings you're reading here today are a direct result of simple pondering. When you live in a place where you have no blood relatives, and just a few friends (the kind who would be there if you needed them), you depend heavily upon yourself to fill the gaps. If you're able to do that, you're way ahead of most! 

The 'alone' thing has also caused me to read more books than when I was not (alone). I love the extreme variety of books that I read. Hmmm ... may relate to the onset of vivid dreams. 

Suffice to say that I am NOT a bored person! I just wish I had more footloose and fancy free friends to enjoy the adventures. It's a tough thing having to divide oneself in half in order to revolve around another. Although I know there are those who live for that, and I get it. I just need to find those who are on my path. Not an easy task! I spent most of 50 years sharing myself with others, mostly following their path without any idea what it was to be my own boss. There are rewards to both, but at this juncture in time, I choose to 'stay the course'.

I now live a life much the opposite of what I used to. I was totally immersed in water (swimming), horses, and other sports. Now I'm a high desert/mountain baby. Black vs. White. But that tells me how adaptable I am. Yes, of course I have my moments of wanting to move on, but that's when Kathleen comes along and says, "Hey, how about applying a little logic here. Hello? Left brain?" Yes, common sense tells me I'm probably where I should be.

I try not to think of what my future will bring. I know that I have some medical issues that will trip me up if I let them, but for now I'm making the most of the present. The kayak, the kamera, and the kittens!

What are your thoughts? Tell me below in the 'Reactions' space, or with a comment ...