Kathy's World!: YOLO!

You Only Live Once!

Its been 6 months since I've posted here. Guess I haven't felt moved to do so. Not so sure that I do now! There have been times when I've had momentous thoughts and said, "Kathy, you need to get on the blog with that!" But did I? And now those thoughts are gone. *poof*

One does keep bumping me, however. It's my "shadow side" ... my unlived life ... the part of me that I don't understand, or maybe even know about. We so often let our lives revolve around others and put our own dreams aside. Why oh why? Life is so stinkin' short! I realize that "things" happen, and we feel the need to take care of them, but it brings to mind something I've always said ... "Be not so busy making a living that you forget to make a life". Before you know it, that life has become even shorter, and maybe you've become too old or out of shape to live your own dreams.

There are few things I regret about the path my life took, but I do regret not having followed a few of my dreams when the time seemed right. I wasted a lot of time piddling with pros & cons when I could have actually been living! Why do we so often do what we think others want or need us to do rather than doing what we want or need to do?

Romance the shadow and, in turn, you'll deal with the identity crisis ... I think. "Romancing your shadow—accepting these unlived parts of yourself and learning to read the messages that are contained in it—can lead to a deeper level of consciousness, as well as spark your imagination. When a person is ready to accept these parts—and not try to push them aside — she or he may discover all sorts of creative, positive ideas begging for fulfillment." I guess I've been working through this for some time, probably since retiring, which gave me plenty of time for my mind to go into overtime!

I've never had a problem with my imagination ... its kept me royally entertained, as is also evidenced in my detailed nocturnal dreams. I've alluded to the fact that long forgotten things that happened way in the past have been coming out clearly the older I get. I like that. Much of it makes me laugh! And much of it speaks of the dreams I have let go.

As I reflect on the life I've lived, I see it as an adventure because that's what I made of it. My vivid imagination has served me well. But I see some of it as wasted time, time spent trying to make something of nothing. I put aside making my photography bigger and better; not writing stories that would have glued you to your recliner; not visiting places rather than just imagining them; sitting on wonderful beaches in far away places; spending more time with those I rarely see or have never even met ... and the beat goes on.

At this point in my life, the one thing that bothers me most is not being able to do things I used to do easily. I was very athletic, and I know that it's still in there, but I let the fear of the "what ifs" rule. Something that seems to happen when one trips 70. Do not laugh, but one thing, actually two, that keeps me going is my feline housemates. I do not want them to know what it's like to lose their food source to a stupid accident. So yes, they keep me alive!

It all serves to remind me of what an adventurous & positive person I am, even though I will probably leave this earth not having entirely lived the life I would have chosen. I was simply dealt a different set of cards. But I'll continue to consider what I do have a winning hand.