I wonder what would be remembered about me ...

I attended yet another memorial service at my church today. There have been way too many over the past few months. Soon there will be few people that I know. I guess I was one of the younger ones in the congregation, and that's not saying much! 

The thing that strikes me most about the services is how little we really knew about the person we're honoring. I alluded to the "dash" in a long ago post, that period of time between birth & death. I probably mentioned how unfortunate it is that we didn't know much about that person when it would have counted. There was no information in the handout regarding todays decedent, but it was one of those services where people were asked to speak about him, and that's where we learned who he really was. We all knew he was a kind person, but there was so much more. I won't go into all of it here.

What it has me pondering is what would people remember about me. Memorial services allow one to sit up and take notice of how you come across to others.

What was I meant to do with this life?
What have I done with this life?
Am I kind?
Am I thoughtful?
Have I been generous with my time?
Am I likeable?

The questions go on and on, and I'm not sure I know the answers. I know what I think, but what others think is often very different.

I've had my "oh woe is me" periods, I've had my "up" times, and I've had my "totally at peace" times. My journals reveal more than I really wanted to know! But they also tell me that I've been a strong person, a survivor against all odds. I've maintained a sense of humor during good times and bad. I've given myself permission to be okay with being alone, which has helped me to better know myself. I know when I need to seek companionship, and when to be alone. I've been blessed with a vivid imagination, but I've neglected my writing. My photography keeps me in touch with my world, and I've been told that I should market them. But my biggest joy with photography is just sharing it, letting others enjoy it. I'm not a professional, but I know I have a good eye, for which I'm immensely grateful. Another part of my sanity is reading voraciously. I can't count the number of books I've read, some good and some "meh". But I do know that all of these things have helped shape me into my older self.

Unless I attend my own service, I'll never know what others remember about me. I just hope it's all good!