Why I am who I am . . .

Tired tonight, so I won't be saying that 6 times real fast. It's just another thing I've been turning over and around in my mind. If I can't stop the voices long enough to meditate, then I'll put them to good use on this blog. But seriously, people always ask "who's the one person who has influenced you the most?" In my case . . . no one person comes to mind. It's a combination of many people and circumstances.

As a child, I'd have to say it was growing up with two older brothers, an outdoor-type mom who, along with dad, were caring disciplinarians, and grandparents who taught me even older values. Those things came together to form the beginnings of "an independent little cuss". I became a self-sufficient "Tomboy", and I wouldn't trade that for the world. It has served me well later in life, but made me a bit too competitive at times. That has softened, however. But I'm still most at home in jeans and a t-shirt, and no shoes. ;)

The "first" family ~ my "devil may care" look!

Sisters Mary & Jane

followed after a 12 year gap!

Where I grew up also had a major influence on me . . . good "Midwest values". As a college student (in my 30's) in California, one of my instructors asked where I was from. I told him Iowa. He replied, "Ah, then you know how to spell, and write complete sentences. How refreshing!" I'll never forget that. :) Those values also helped me with landing jobs. "Iowa . . . good work ethics." Yup. But I wouldn't trade Arizona for those Iowa winters for all the corn in the fields!

The era I grew up in was also a plus . . . at least I think so. The 50's and 60's . . . from "Leave It To Beaver" to the tumultuous protest and hippy years. I dodged the latter. I was what they called a "preppy" . . . my clothes matched, I loved plaid and penny loafers, drugs were an unknown, electronics weren't around to interrupt my imagination, and protest marches didn't happen where I lived. And I still love the oldies music, which weren't oldies back then. (Recall from a previous post that I pay $52 a month for cable so I can play the oldies channel? Dumb.)

Good old 45 rpm

All of these 'younger years' influences carried me through some tough times as a result of stupid decisions, leading up to when I met Ben. I will always wonder if he knew how much he guided my thinking and actions because, quite frankly, the "competitive" part of me kept me from expressing appreciation many times. Again, dumb. Through the years, I know that he grew to appreciate my analytical nature, and I his gentle nature. We'd go around about stuff, but we always met in the middle. Unfortunately, we sometimes fail to REALLY appreciate who someone is until they are gone. But, on the fortunate side, we seem to pick up some (hopefully all) of that person's attributes. It's what keeps them alive to us.

It's never too late to be a better person, and it's up to us to choose the right influences. Right now, my life is a potpourri of interesting circumstances. And, through the Grace of God, it always will be.