In Memory . . .

Two years ago today, my mother passed away one month after Ben. I've never "disconnected" Ben's CaringBridge, so I went back to it to see what I wrote. I like this one about mom, written a couple of weeks after she passed, and I think you will to:

MONDAY, FEBRUARY 1, 2010 11:27 PM, MST

"The last journal entry was about Ben. This one will be about Mothers and evolving relationships. I'm on a reflecting trip. Mom and dad had someone put all of their old movies on DVD's, which I've been watching. And my sister Mary put together a wonderful DVD about our mom, which she gave to each of us. I was a lucky child who led a charmed childhood on the shores of a lake, living at the resort my parents owned with my Uncle and his wife. New friends every week! Learning to swim like a fish after barely learning to walk because she saved me from a near-drowning when I was two, I had two brothers to keep up with, and she had to try to keep up with all 3 of the first round of kids. She did it well, and was very protective of her "pups". While watching these DVD's, I'm seeing how together she was, eventually raising 5 of us, cooking us well-rounded meals, taking care of all those clothes, putting up with our idiosyncrasies, taking us here and there, trying to teach me to sew (no success there), getting me hooked on horses, putting up with my stormy teen years, yet still making oodles of time for her friends, and the things she loved. I wasn't lucky enough to inherit her singing voice, at least I don't think so! Through it all she maintained one of the prettiest smiles I've ever seen, but sometimes it would reverse! She had so much to put up with, as most mom's do, but all these years later, I see a grace in her that I must have been fortunate enough to assimilate. I've made some of my own life difficult, but I've been called "grace under pressure" at times, and now I see where it came from. What I'm seeing, after her 87 years on earth, is such a chain of events, so spread out, that it's easy for a child to forget the original value of such an important influence. Parents sometimes have difficulty letting go of the "child" in their children, and the children sometimes have difficulty remembering that there is still a young person within their parents. Does that make sense? I know what I mean, and I couldn't think of a better way to say it other than, as a parent ages, it's easy for us to forget the way they were. I'm glad I have the DVD's to help me remember. And, if you're lucky enough to still have your mother, go back and "remember" what got you where you are."

Life is good and life goes on, but without some of the depth it once contained.

Epitome of a "mom"