On Solitude and Being Alone . . .

I would never classify myself as lonely . . . alone, yes. Big difference! Solitude, the kind we choose for ourselves, is often met with judgement and stigma. In our highly social world it raises questions about our identity and well-being. Not to worry! The art of solitude is also absolutely essential for a full life.

"Five basic categories of rewards to be reaped from unlearning our culturally conditioned fear of aloneness and learning how to “do” solitude well:

1. A deeper consciousness of oneself
2. A deeper attunement to nature
3. A deeper relationship with the transcendent (the numinous, the divine, the spiritual)
4. Increased creativity
5. An increased sense of freedom"

                                                       -- Sara Maitland, British Author 

When I'm kayaking, and have the lakes mostly to myself, I've become focused on, and totally mesmerized by, the silence. You've heard people say, "Listen! Can you hear the quiet?"

I thought for a long time that I was lonely, but the more time I allowed myself to just be alone, I decided it was just me discovering other parts of my "self", overcoming those stigmas that a busy society has placed on people who seem to spend too much time alone. They call them "loners".  I don't fit that description. I'm too outgoing, and truly enjoy other people's stories.

But, when I'm alone, I try to do exactly what I want to be doing, whether it's reading, writing, taking photos, kayaking, or just observing. I'm not very good at "going along" if it's something I really don't want to be doing. Somehow, with age, one learns to say "no thank you". There's nothing worse than agreeing to being somewhere you simply don't want to be. And it's okay to say no. Took me many years to learn that, but I'm now a much happier person. I've learned the hard way just how short life really is, and how important it is to truly LIVE while I'm still around to do it. 

I think it's remarkable that, no matter our age, we just keep on learning about ourselves, our capabilities. There is no number of friends on Facebook, contacts, connections or in the financial world that can guarantee to protect us. I value my friends, my family, and my pets more than I've ever probably told them. But I've also come to depend on myself. And that's a *good* thing.

I leave you with this . . .

Hear the silence?