More thoughts from that upper deck . . .

As is evidenced by the previous two posts, I was going through something totally unlike me. I guess it's not easy to lose a dad, and nearly a treasured pet simultaneously.  This blog has been my source for venting, and I'll never apologize for that. For the most part, my writing has been peaceful to playful, and in-between. This particular post is being prompted and pried out of me by a good friend who believes it's good for me to ponder the positives, and right she is! She gave me an "assignment" . . . to write down everything that motivates me. But as I thought about it, I decided to write about gratitude. But it came to me that motivation and gratitude actually hold hands with fingers entwined. On that note, let the thoughts flow!

Gratitude overwhelms me most when I'm near a body of water. I don't know why. It just does. But I'm going to guess it's because of the peace and calm. It's when otherwise hidden thoughts are most able to make themselves known. And they are, more often than not, of a positive nature. 

The thoughts are random . . . unexpected things that have happened to me, been gifted to me, restored that faith in human nature, and things I need to do to pay it forward. But I also think about things I wish I could re-do, how I could have been a better person in certain circumstances. Yes I know, that's not "living in the NOW", but it hopefully helps in the present and the future.

If I wrote down everything I'm grateful for at this point in my life, I'd run out of room! I will try, but not necessarily in the order of their importance . . . they're all important.

I'm grateful for the people who have had more confidence in me than I do, who have remained steady. One of them was my dad. If not for him, I doubt I would have accomplished many of the things I did. I could say I did it for him, but he'd say "no, you did it for you". I'm grateful for those whom I know I can depend on, and hope they know I would do the same. I'm grateful for the first time I picked up a camera. I can't say that I'm a professional in any way, but I believe I was gifted with "the eye", and when I download the images to my computer, it's like opening a gift. And that gift has seen me through some difficult times. I'm grateful for my love of water, and that Prescott has little lakes I can kayak on. I'm grateful for a good childhood that instilled that love of water and the outdoors. I'm grateful to have had the rare gift of a soulmate, and I still miss his company every single day. Irreplaceable. I'm grateful to my mom for instilling a love for music of all types. I once read that music is the only activity that involves every part of ones brain. I believe that because there's always a song still stuck there when I'm going to sleep! I'm also grateful that I love to write. Again, not a professional, but it allows me to express myself, and vent on occasion. It's one of the greatest releases in the world. Which leads to reading. I'm sad for people who can't or just don't. It gets me into other spaces for awhile, and I swear it has an influence on the type of person one becomes. Having a vivid imagination is another plus that I'm grateful for. Having grown up in a time when you used your imagination rather than electronics was something I wouldn't trade for anything. I'm grateful that I had the nerve to at least try to accomplish things I thought myself incapable of. I didn't know the meaning of the word "can't". If I found out that I couldn't, it was on to something else. And last, but probably the most important . . . I'm grateful that I was blessed with being able to talk myself through some things that seemed so insurmountable. Being able to pick yourself up and dust off the troubles is knowing beyond a doubt that you were blessed with a sense of humor. And I know where I got that . . .