I found this on Facebook and it spoke directly to me. I keep saying that, although I haven't had Covid, it still did a number on me. When we were advised to stay at home, distance, and wear masks, I took it to heart. Sadly, I haven't kayaked in over two years, and stopped my little road trips and photo shoots. But thankfully, I've read hundreds of books. My osteoporosis got worse, but I refuse to take a med for it, so I've been trying to walk more, and watch the types of food I eat.
My point is that I've been hard on myself, not realizing that maybe I really am exhausted from the "survival mode". That doesn't mean I've been fighting for my life ... it simply means that I tried hard to make the right decisions throughout the years, which includes battling with myself, and that equals surviving. We all do it.
Through all of it, I feel that I've robbed myself of enjoyment, experiences, seeing people I miss. That's not to say I've totally been leading a sad life. I've always been one of those who is okay alone, and I've had the company of two special cats who remind me of the commitment I made when I adopted them. And they make me laugh. Laughing has always come easy for me, and has made me a positive and spontaneous person. Somewhere along the way I also picked up the need to stay in touch with people. I dig until I find someone I haven't seen in years, I call or text when I know someone has lost a loved one, or just because. That's the way I am. But others just aren't. You know who you are, if you're even reading this! But I love ya anyway, and I'll stay in touch.
So, after getting through the being lazy, unmotivated and stuck stuff, I'm reminding myself to be kinder not just to others, but to myself as well. And I will try to overcome the fact that this world has become a strange and sometimes mean place. My little world shall remain intact.
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