I've grown somewhat used to rambling around an empty house except for my two cats. But yesterday, for the first time in awhile, I really missed Ben's presence . . . someone to fill the void, even if he's downstairs, or reading a book, or watching the telly. It's just knowing that someone is near. For those of you who still have a "presence" with you, I hope I don't have to ask you to treasure that. I know it's easy to slip, feel badly about it later, then slip again. Human nature. It all reverts back to all of us having a certain independence, no room for having someone else direct our lives. Competition, if you will. The cure? I don't know that there is one, but silence until the storm passes is a good one. Wish I'd followed that advice many times over the years. Shoulda, coulda, woulda. But I guess my LBB (Life Before Ben) consisted of many mistakes, and I'm sorry that it took two major losses to "awaken the sleeping giant". Step back and look at the Big Picture. Mighty humbling, isn't it.
So, for 2011, I'm going to review my Bucket List (see previous post), and LIVE it. And my wish for every one of you who has touched my life, may your life be everything you need for it to be.
Remember . . . wanting and needing are light years apart. I feel another V.A. visit coming on. :)
2 comments:
Humbling, inspiring, even exciting. All the best for the New Year!
Hi Kathy and happy new year.
As I was reading your post,and "contemplating" all the changes you have encountered over this past year,
I thought of sending you this quote from Oswald Chambers,from his daily devotional, "My Utmost For His Highest" December, 31st.
"You shall not go out without haste,... for the Lord will go before you, and the God of Israel will be your rear guard" (Isaiah 52:12).
Security from yesterday. "... God requires an account of what is past" (Ecclesiastes 3:15) At the end of the year we turn with eagerness to all that God has for the future, and yet anxiety is apt to arise when we remember our yesterdays. Our present enjoyment of God's grace tends to be lessened by the memory of yesterday's sins and blunders. But God is the God of our yesterdays, and He allows the memory of them to turn the past into a ministry of spiritual growth for our future. God reminds us of the past to protect us from a very shallow security in the present.
Security for tomorrow. "... the Lord will go before you..." This is a gracious revelation-that God will send His forces (for those truly trusting in Him) out where we have failed to do so. He will keep watch so that we will not be tripped up again by the same failures as would undoubtedly happen if He were not our "rear guard." And God's hand reaches back to the past, settling all the claims against our conscience.
Security for today. "You shall not go out with haste..." As we go forth into the coming year, let it not be in the haste of impetuous, forgetful delight, nor with the quickness of impulsive thoughtlessness. But let us go out with the patient power of knowing the God of Israel will go before us. Our yesterdays hold broken and irreversible things for us. it is true that we have lost opportunities that will never return, but God can this destructive anxiety into a constructive thoughtfulness for the future. Let the past rest, but let it rest in the sweet embrace of Christ.
Leave the broken, irreversible past in His hands, and step out into the invincible future with Him."
Kathy, I pray The Lord's richest blessings be yours always.
Mike
Post a Comment