Random thoughts of gratitude . . .

On this the eve of the birth of Christ, my cup still runneth over. It's technically my second Christmas without Ben, but his gifts to me are as active as ever. I feel such serendipity because I'm overflowing with this "attitude of gratitude", and the need to pay it forward. Not your typical widow, I suspect. And I still haven't found a word to replace 'widow'. It has such a final and depressing sound to it. Suggestions are welcome!


I have, in my spiral bound notebook, a whole list of my gratitude thoughts, but I'll let it go with this quote:


"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow." -- Melody Beattie


I don't know who Melody is, but I thank her for such a succinct definition of how I feel. Add to that the "Grace" of which this blog was born, and life doesn't get any better than that.  As the song says, "With your hand resting in mine, I feel a power so divine . . .". Music holds a special place with me, and apparently with my dad as well. Certain songs trigger reactions. We both feel a big void, missing mom and Ben like there's no tomorrow, yet we know there is. And the best we can do is put ourselves in a place to be with them again someday. 


As for Christmas eve, Dad & I will go get something to eat, then I will go to Communion, and, after that, I will find a lonely soul at the V.A. hospice. Too many are alone on their final journey, and God knows that I know how frightening that could be, especially tonight. I want to leave everything a little better than I found it, and a good example is the best sermon . . . 
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid" (John 14:27). 


Onward I go ~ Merry Christmas to each and every one.

                                                              Christmas '07