A sample of Ben's green thumb :)
As I continue through the variety of emotions since Dec. 18, 2009, the changes of seasons come to the forefront. This is my second Spring since losing Ben, and it is the season that should make me the happiest. Sadly, it's the one that contains the most reminders. It's when he came to life, anxious to rid the yard of winter. And I'll preface this post with the fact that I had NO idea how hard Ben worked to keep up our yard and house. I wish I had. But I am now forced to fill that position. It's not that I don't want to. Quite the contrary ... it gives me a purpose. I've never been one to let things go. So I shall do it with the neatness and caring which he did. Just maybe not quite as well or as quickly.
* The time is coming where he would have made sure all of his "yard tools" were in working
order.
* He would be scouting the local nurseries for just the right plants and flowers that he was so very
good at growing. Do I have his green thumb? Not so much. I am looking forward to my pink
poppies doing all of the work and, at this point, they are sending me positive vibes by turning
more green. Same goes for the purple-bearded iris.
* He would have put down pre-emergence for weeds by now. Me? I'm only thinking about it.
* He would be "sucking up" the giant leaves from the neighbor's Sycamore tree. Me? Not. My
wonderful neighbor Dick is doing it. I owe him big.
* The decks haven't been power washed since '07, and yes, I am doing that, followed by
sanding, and a good staining. My friend Bob helped me fire up the power washer and did a
little of the deck. I will at least get the lower deck done because I know I'm being watched. :)
* Ben was good with the front fountain and the pond in back. Me? Not so much. That is one thing
that I may have to hire done. I don't want to give them up ... there's nothing more "happy" than
the sound of moving H20. And birds depend on me for it.
* Everything seems to be in working order, including me, and I'll pray for that to continue, but I
know nothing lasts forever.
There are probably other to-do's that I'm forgetting, but I'll remember when I see them.
When all of that is done, my next project is Feng Shui, the art of Zen. Simplify. De-clutter the house and you de-clutter the mind. It's always been way difficult for me to get rid of "stuff", so I'll have a "keep it" box, a "store it" box, and a "take it to the thrift shop" box. Actually, there will probably be duplicates of each one, in addition to the way-too-big-clothes. The thought of the task I'm about to undertake humbles me. I need a push from above to get it done. If anyone reading this enjoys purging, give me a call. Seriously.
What I will miss through all of the outside maintenance is the companionship, and the learning of how to do certain things, although I've been amazed at how much I did learn just from observation. Everything I look at evokes memories, and that's a good thing.
The hangin' tomaters
Ben's '07 garden even though he was on chemo.
(His last one was in '09 which is
in another post on here, I think. It still
amazes me that he had the energy to put one in,
and clean it up that Fall. His time was short.
The sad part is that it'll never look like this again,
unless . . .
my poppies do their thing.)
And lastly, my deck maintenance efforts . . .3 years of yuck!
The amazing little electric power washer!
In the meantime, I'll work on this formula: Spring = Happy
2 comments:
Really identify with your "new" to do jobs that Ben was so good at. I struggle now to learn things T always took care of with skill & good humor. Lucky that I can appreciate all that & tell him so.
Yes it is. Do it daily. Too late for me . . .
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