Old and Stale . . .

That's what I don't want my "Grace blogs" to become, so perhaps this one will be a bit controversial for some. I hope not, but if I've learned nothing else, I have learned that it's okay for everyone to have their own thoughts. It's what makes the world an interesting place to be for as long as we're in it.


Been spending a little time at night on that upper deck I've mentioned in past posts. It's where I have some of my most profound epiphany's. Or is it epiphanies. Doesn't matter. Any way you spell it, an epiphany is a sudden realization.

I went to a movie tonight with my friend, who is dealing with demons. We saw "Seven Days In Utopia", and I'm here to tell you, he was touched, which in turn touched me. It isn't just about golf. The analogies have profound ways of looking at life, forcing you to question not only your past choices, but your direction for the future. Doesn't exactly fit with my firm belief in the "Now", but it's gourmet food for thought.


I sometimes find myself sitting on that deck doing some internal visiting about one thing and another, but tonight my conversation went something like this . . .


*Okay, if there's a God out there . . . never mind, yes, I know you're there. Sorry. But what I've been meaning to ask is this . . . just exactly where are you going with me? I have all this happiness and peace in spite of the trials and tribulations you're having me deal with. If this is the direction you really want me to take, bring it on! But could you impart a little of that happiness to my friend? Oh, oh, I get it, that's what I'm here for. Well, let me just say that you've given me quite a handful with this one, so keep serving me heaping helpings of that "Patience of Job", okay? In another life I would have given up in a heartbeat, but I see a good and decent man inside all of that turmoil. And I know that you do, too. I just keep thinking, 'am I enough'? I guess it'll have to do :) * 


I pass to my friend the words of Ralph Waldo Emerson and hope he finds his peace in them :

Every spirit builds itself a house,

and beyond its house,

a world, and beyond its world,

a heaven.

Know then that world exists for you.

~RWE

Back to the deck . . .

 The "upper deck" in '09 ~

Still looks the same minus Ben's plants

When all is said and done, it's not about me. Or you. It's about how the journey to the end result is handled. When I'm sitting with someone who is on their final passage to exit this world, it all becomes so clear. And that's kind of what my little "deck visits" do for me. They remind me that I'm just a "spit in the bucket". But, if you can help just one person by forgetting about yourself, it's the most freeing thing that will ever happen to you on mortal Earth. And I feel so, for lack of a better word, lucky to have had that epiphany somewhere along the line. I may have to compromise my own beliefs, or change myself, in the process of setting myself aside in order to even try to understand another's demons, but I still have the power to return to my world and remember who I am.


I hope you understand what I mean, because sometimes even I don't! It still just continues to "leak from my fingers onto the keyboard".