Crossroads, mixed messages, and onward I go . . .

If there can be a good side to all that has gone before, it's the excitement of things yet to come. Choices to make that only I can make. After taking care of someone I loved for 30 years, trying to be sure their journey is smooth, I'm kind of at a loss as to what comes next. So no, I don't feel like a kid in a candy store. I feel like an adult that is perhaps a little too careful, a tad too protective of myself. But hey, who else is going to look out for me if I don't? Hmm? Trouble is that my head tends to get in the way of my heart. I've always been just a little too analytical. But I appreciate that "alarm" that goes off when I know something's just not right, whether it's a bid on my shingle replacement or the possibility of "dating" again. Regarding the latter, I just don't think I'm there yet. It wouldn't be fair to compare someone to a person that I knew as the best, and I don't know that it's humanly possible not to do that. Will I know when it's time? Will it ever be time? That's part of the adventure. At my "ripe old age", I know without doubt what I want and what I need. BIG differences between 'need' and 'want'. One thing's for sure . . . they have to like cats!


Since "retiring", I've just been doing the things I always wanted to do, part of which is nothing! Things have been going "swimmingly" smoothly. (Where did that come from?!!) I'm still stuffing the right things in my mouth, and have kept the weight off that I lost during the tough times. I still need to find a part-time job that I know I'll like, with people I can trust. (There's that analytical picky-ness!)Two of the last 12 years with my former company were a nightmare. Totally unexpected. Really shook my faith in human nature at a time when that's the last thing I needed. I know what I have to offer, so I need to use 25 years of sales experience to sell it. Stay tuned . . .  


"I like living. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow, but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing."
                                                                                                                       -- Agatha Christie
My sentiments exactly.