Subject matter keeps creeping into my thought patterns, and I feel driven to share it. Something happens and I think "another thing Ben or my mom has missed or would be surprised about" . . . SO many things. And I'm amazed at the number of things that have occurred in the year and a half that both have been gone. We lose a friend or family member, something happens in the political world that we're overjoyed or sick about, someone from the forgotten past calls, another great grand baby is born, I achieve something I know Ben or mom would be proud of . . . the list goes on. Right now most of these events have faded to be replaced with new ones, forgetting about those we should perhaps remember better. But the fact remains that we allow that to happen. We take life events for granted. And I'm left to wonder still, do they know all of these things? So many times, when something happens, I think to myself, "Dang! Wish Ben or mom knew about that. They'd be so (amazed) (shocked) (sad) (tickled) . . . To we who are left here, this is one of the major puzzles . . . DO they know. I don't think anyone can say for sure.
I have no idea, in the world of loss, when, if ever, these thoughts will stop. But that's okay because it makes me appreciate still being here to experience the events of the "real" world, and how much they impact my direction in life, that somehow they'll make me a WAY better person just by nature of thoughtful consideration of how a particular occurrence would affect someone else. (I know, it's a long sentence, so read it again!) In a nutshell, how I perceive or cherish something, makes a big difference in whether I take it for granted or not. But, with a loss, comes an amazing change in those words in my title . . . "Take nothing for granted". Every experience, whether huge or small, is a crack of thunder, a reminder that we're still a part of life. As to whether our departed "know" of these things or not, we're free to believe what we wish.
But it's nice to think that they do.
1 comment:
That's cute (funny) about the long sentence, so I did (read it again). The entire blog can be read again to get hold of the thread that weaves thru it so nicely.
That last sentence, "it's nice to think that they do" is gently comforting. Who knows?
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