Today was my first day of V.A. hospice training. This is our local V.A.'s "No One Dies Alone Program". I'm not familiar with other Veteran's Hospitals, but I'm pretty proud of our Prescott V.A., not to mention that it's steeped in history. It was once Fort Whipple where soldiers were stationed to guard Prescott.
This session was mostly spent reviewing everyone's reason for wanting to volunteer. There were 22 of us and I have to say that most everyone's reasons were quite varied. From my previous "undercover" visits to the hospice patients, I'm prejudiced in thinking that my reasons hit closer to home. I had a tiny panic attack when we toured the hospice wing, that I was already familiar with, because the room that Ben had been in was sealed off for some updating that they're doing. It was a real "been there, seen it, done it" day. But I'm comfortable with the feeling that it's meant to be. In my brief assessment of the 21 others, there are probably 10 that I wouldn't mind visiting me if I were the patient. Just some of that "female intuition" thing going on.
When scheduling was brought up, they don't expect a lot of hours from us, but I know me. I will do whatever it takes, and I will do more than it takes where needed. Nature of the little beast. Not sure, but I think I'm the only one willing to work nights. That can be the toughest time, and I feel I owe it to Ben. This is my way to "Pay It Forward". But none of this is about me. It's about that person who may not see tomorrow. If you aren't a good listener, or you're not comfortable with silence, don't even consider it.
Ben spent the day with me, as he usually always does. I carry a little of him close to my heart, under my shirt. Somehow I think he knows even better this way what I'm up to! What do I think he'd say regarding what I'm about to embark upon? "Are you sure you want to do that?" And I'd say, "You know I am. I promised you I'd be okay, and I am."
Live with Intention
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